Gjelina {pretentious dining}

Gjelina must be French for “ugh.” What a frustratingly disappointing experience.

GJELINA
www.gjelina.com
1429 Abbot Kinney Blvd.
Venice, CA 90291
(310) 450-1429

Before I get ahead of myself, let me give you a little background on this place. I had many an Angeleno foodie highly recommend Gjelina to me as a “YOU MUST GO NOW” restaurant. I would try to go, and could never get a reservation when I wanted one. Two weeks in advance for a weekend rez and you’re telling me you only have a 10:30pm slot open? Ugh.

A few months ago (yes, this is how behind I am in posting this), I SHOCKINGLY got an 8:30pm reservation for 2 on a  Sunday night having called just a week before. As a last-cousin-date-before-she-up-and-left-me-for-the-balmy-weather-and-palm-trees-of-Hawaii, we were stoked to go.

The interior is a little bit industrial meets Anthropologie meets DARK CAVERNOUS ABYSS (seriously, I’d like even a tiny sliver of light to see wtf I’m eating).

{interior}

The food was everything everyone raved about.

The crispy pork was juicy. Sorry the photo is from a sad takeout box. You can thank Gjelina for never bringing this plated to our table because they FORGOT, even after we reminded them and patiently waited forever for this. Ugh.

{crispy nimah ranch pork belly with polenta, mustard greens and apple cider}

{maitake mushroom toast with creme fraiche and truffle oil}}

{grilled russian kale with shallot yogurt and hazelnuts}

{braised spring rabbit stroganoff with snap peas & maitake mushroom farrotto}

Though each dish ranged from above average to incredible and mouth-watering, the service (or lack thereof) left us with a sour aftertaste. I was a much less perturbed person happily eating my boxed crispy pork on my couch not having to wait for passive and snobbish wait staff to bring me a damn glass of water.

Our waiter was pleasant enough in the beginning. He came by, poured our tiny glasses of water and took our order. Buuuut that was pretty much the last we ever saw of him. Ugh.

We got two of our plates in a fairly reasonable amount of time (picky sidebar: the pacing was all off) but we awkwardly waited much longer for the main dish (the rabbit) and then waited even more (surprise!) for the crispy pork, which we had to ask three different waiters for. Ugh.

Finally, after patiently twiddling our thumbs for well over 30 minutes for the final dish, we finally see our waiter emerge from the aforementioned dark cavernous abyss. We reminded him that we were still waiting on our pork dish, to which he replied “you never got it?” No sh*t, Sherlock. So after this reminder (mind you, this is the third member of the Gjelina staff we asked), we had to wait yet again for the kitchen to actually prepare the dish, as the order was never passed along. At this point, we’d been there for about 2 hours now, so we just asked for the pork to be boxed up. Sad face (and another ugh).

Overall, the staff seemed completely apathetic to their complete dismissal of “service” and lack of simple common courtesy. We begrudgingly left a tip, albeit small but proportional to the service we received (because as much of an a-hole our waiter was, I still believe in karma).

The next morning, I attempted to follow up with any semblance of a superior at the establishment. A woman answered and took my name and number down for a manager to call me back. The conversation continued as follows:

Apathetic Gjelina Woman: May I ask what this is regarding?
Me: (I SHOULD have replied “nunya biznass”) My meal I had there last night.
AGW:  Was it bad?
Me: Yes.
AGW: OK, I’ll pass along your information to our manager.

I wish this story ended with someone from Gjelina calling me and profusely apologizing and offering to personally invite me and 50 of my closest friends back for a dinner to make good for their failures (or at the very least comp my all too pricey meal…or even a friggin apology?!) but sadly, none was the case. My story ends all too anti-climatically with NO RESPONSE from the passive, pretentious buttheads at the Venice restaurant. Ugh.

THE RATING

They get a half cupcake ONLY because the food was really good.

PS-I’m not alone in my horrific experiences with Gjelina. Hell’s Kitchen star (and chef-lebrity crush of mine) Gordon Ramsay also had a little run-in with some heartless service.

PPS-total Ugh count for this restaurant? 6. Guys, that’s 6 too many for ANYONE. Unacceptable.

Langer’s=Heaven on Rye {sandwiches}

Pastrami on rye is pretty much sandwich perfection. Made with savory, juicy pastrami and twice-baked rye bread, you have the best damn sandwich I’ve had thus far in this town.

{langer’s menu}

LANGER’S DELI
www.langersdeli.com
704 S Alvarado
Los Angeles, CA 90057
(213) 483-8050

THE RATING: 

I have no idea why it took me so long to make it to Langer’s. My only regret is not making it there sooner!

{open kitchen}

{most popular – AND BEST – sandwich!}

Hello, lover:

{#19 – pastrami, swiss cheese, cole slaw and russian dressing}

The french dip was good, but at Langer’s…why even bother with anything other than the #19?!

{french dip}

Helpful hints for yummy sandwich seeking readers:

  • The #19 keeps really well in your fridge (they even send you home with vacuum sealed pickles!) and has the same melt-in-your-mouth goodness you get with your first bite in the restaurant.
  • Know that they do close early at 4PM (sad face) and are closed on Sundays (epic sad face.).
  • If you call in an order, they bring it to you curbside!
  • If you’re eating in, order another #19 to take home. Trust me, you’ll want to keep one on hand.
  • One last tip: GO. You won’t regret it.

Five Affordable Alternatives to LA’s Hottest Restaurants {Frugal Foodies}

It’s like those splashy spreads in women’s magazines that show you how to get SJP’s look on a budget…but BETTER and TASTIER. (Have I succumbed to LA food snobbery? Because of the 5 splurges on this list, I’ve either been there, or really really really want to.)

Via Eater.com

 1) Osteria Mozza/Gusto

2) Hatfield’s/Canele

3) WP24/Yujean Kang’s

4) Mezze/Momed

5) Bazaar/Red Medicine

Sprinkles Now Makes Ice Cream {Frozen Treats}

{salty caramel ice cream in a red velvet cone with red velvet toppings}

I’m being quite kind by starting out with a mouth-watering shot of my ice cream cone I endured a 35+ minute wait for, because every subsequent photo in this post might make you rethink idly standing in a 100-person-deep queue for not-so-spectacular ice cream.

Sprinkles Ice Cream
www.sprinklesicecream.com
9631 South Santa Monica Boulevard
Beverly Hills, CA 90210
310-274-7890

Harsh? I’ll let you take a look at the photographic evidence:

{am i in a gas station? nope, this is inside sprinkles ice cream. yum.}

{gross.}

{ridiculous line}

OK, I get it. It was opening weekend so I anticipated a line. The wait isn’t terrible and there’s enough people watching to keep even the shortest attention span entertained. But cmon, Sprinkles. Your customers are already putting up with a stupidly long wait, and you RUN OUT of red velvet ice cream? It’s not like it’s arguably your signature cupcake that made you inexplicably famous. What’s that? It’s so popular you make a home mix? Fail. It’s not like it’s featured prominently on your site. OH WAIT IT IS.

{sprinkles ice cream homepage}

I think the word I’m looking for here is UGH. Severely ill-prepared, disgustingly dirty and the world’s slowest moving line do not make for a pleasant ice cream experience.

I tried what I thought would be a close substitute for their horrific lack of red velvet ice cream: salty caramel ice cream in a red velvet waffle cone with red velvet cupcakes mushed up as a topping. It wasn’t bad ice cream by any means, but it wasn’t worth the wait and quite frankly, I can get a whole pint of better ice cream (this is my favorite) for the same price and eat it in the comfort of my own home in pjs watching reruns of any given Housewives on Bravo. (I’d also like to note that the floors in my home are certainly cleaner than the grubby floors pictured above).

The red velvet waffle cone helped soften the pain of not having any actual red velvet ice cream. But it is kinda depressing to walk outside after eating mediocre salty caramel ice cream to find THIS TRAGEDY on the sidewalk. Don’t they know there are red velvet ice cream craving Shannons out there?! Such a shame.

{fail.}

Will I be back? Maaaaaaaaybe. I don’t know if I can endure that wait for another so-so experience. And that’s huge, considering 90% of my diet consists of sugar.

Best Sandwiches in Los Angeles (#2 of 18): The Daily Dose {Sandwiches}

I’m ever so slowly making my way through LA Weekly’s top sandwiches in the city (emphasis on the slowly). In my defense, the list is lengthy (including runners-up), the city is massive and I have the rest of the places on my bucket list to get through :)

THE DAILY DOSE
www.dailydoseinc.com
1820 Industrial Street
Los Angeles, CA 90019

THE RATING

THE QUICK AND DIRTY: Tucked away in a quaint alley between two gorgeously aged brick buildings in the industrial part of DTLA (not sketch, I swear), The Daily  Dose is an easy-to-miss gem of a sandwich shop. Through the good graces of LA Weekly, we were able to find and partake in what could arguably be one of the best and freshest sandwiches the city has to offer (I’ll ignore the fact that this was on the list of runners up. While Baco Mercat was tasty, these sandwiches blow the toron out of the water). Everything is as local as they can possibly acquire – I mean, the bread is from a bakery one. street. over. The burrata is insanely creamy, melt-in-your-mouth delicious. The heirloom tomatoes taste like they were JUST picked after being meticulously vine-ripened (BLECH to mealy tomatoes, btw). I love a place that understands seasonality of produce, local is better when you want things fresh and that the food isn’t always about being showy when you use quality ingredients.

THE EATS:

{the farmer: roasted heirloom potatoes, heirloom tomatoes, eggplant puree, squash puree, burrata, red pepper ancho chili jam, almond pesto}

{mortadella, burrata, heirloom tomatoes}